A friend of mine once said, “If there was a day to have a return ticket from Heaven, Mother’s Day would be that day.”
I think about this offering every single Mother’s Day. I lost my Mother in 2017 almost unexpectedly. After lung cancer went to her brain and spinal cord, I received the call, “the family needs to come here quickly.”
We spoke openly about death as it was nothing to be afraid of because we both believe in guardian angels. I knew this day was coming, I just didn’t know when and how it would happen.
It was after her death that my world came crashing down. My dad was still alive and in shock. My Mother’s business was still running and we all found ourselves in the business of her business.
Personally, I was a mess. The nightmares started, I began walking in my sleep. I fell into a depressed state, although I was still functioning.
Then I started to mentally beat myself up with statements such as “My Mother didn’t raise me to act like this.” This was beyond a void, this felt like part of my soul had been ripped from me.
It wasn’t until I found meditation as a practice that I fully resolved my inner thoughts. Meditation allowed my brain to be quiet and guided me to accept that my Mother and I did not fear this process. I only feared what it meant.
I could no longer verbally and physically be with her, but spiritually, she is always available. I had to be open to this. I had to accept that our relationship would change from physical to spiritual. We always talked about this, it was a matter of being open to it.
Her and I have incredible intuition, but I never conceptualized the day where this would be the ONLY way to feel her again. And that’s what I wanted. I didn’t need a conversation, I just needed to feel her.
This is when meditation started to make sense. In my daily life, I am running a thousand different thoughts at one time. Mediation helped to slow the process, to feel inward and connect with my only communication channel to her. My soul.
As I took that step back, I came closer to my Mother.
Descending Dove 